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About Myself
Hello, I am Ellie, lets make it count, i’m part of Ulricehamn’s heartbeat? And Sexual Massage sparks joy in me, your presence is my hearts true song. I find bliss in both Prostate Massage and Facesitting (give) for extra charge, i chase dreams and want someone to run alongside..
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Oi, precious, me’s Gollum, yesss, split-mind hissing! Sex-dating, eh? Nasty, tricksy thing it is! Swiping left, right, like chasing shadows. Me likes it, me hates it—arghh! Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, y’know? “What’s beyond is a lie,” Jep says. Sex-dating’s like that—shiny, empty promises. Profiles all dolled up, pics fake as hobbits’ gold! Met this lass once, said she’s 25—lies! More like 40, wrinkles deep as Mordor’s pits. Made me mad, precious, mad as a warg!
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Anyway, I’m tryin’ to chill by the water, but my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Yo, let’s jam later!” I’m pumped, but then he drops the bomb. “I can’t find my guitar.” Like, seriously? How do you lose a guitar? It’s not a sock, man!
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