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Mate, it’s a hustle, findin’ one. Apps now, too—techy tarts, swipe fer a shag! “I’m hungry for you,” she’d purr, movie-style, but it’s £50 upfront, no cuddles. Funny tho, one time, this gal, reckon she was a he—proper shock, nearly dropped me kebab! We swears! Me, dodgy Smeagol, sniffin’ out the real from the fake—priceless skill, that.
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Feeling a bit better, I head to the park by the river. It’s beautiful there, with the Cetina flowing and all. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.
Solin Murderer Receives Croatia’s Highest Ever Prison Sentence: 50 Years
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