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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prude! This lass, hands like silk, worked me knots out ‘til I forgot me own name. Happy? Bloody ecstatic! Felt like I could conquer Midgard *and* Wall Street. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy places charge ya an arm and a leg, then skimp on the “erotic” bit. Pissed me off, that did! False advertisin’, like a stock tip from a drunk uncle. “You stand there, you dig?”—like Saul’s chaos, ya never know what’s real ‘til it’s too late.

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We cross the finish line, and I’m pumped! We did it! I’m high-fivin’ everyone, and then I see my trainer. He’s lookin’ at me like I just won the lottery. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a race!” But he’s all, “Nah, man. You don’t get it.”

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