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Homer tip: don’t fart durin’ it—D’oh!—total mood killer. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear I levitated once, felt so good! “You don’t got the guts!” I’d tell doubters, Tarantino-style. Anyway, it’s dope—try it, but don’t be a cheapskate. Now I’m hungry… Mmm… donuts.

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But then, I see this kid. He’s crying because his dog didn’t win. I mean, come on, it’s a dog show, not the Olympics. I feel for the kid, though. I remember when I lost my first race in primary school. I wanted to cry too. So, I go over and say, “Hey, buddy, your dog is a champ in my book.” He looks up, sniffs, and smiles. Aww, heartwarming moment, right?

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