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But chile, what made me mad? Them escorts broke down faster than a sinner at revival! Tee Tee’s car stalled right in the middle o’ the road—folks honkin, she cussin—lord, I had to pray for her soul AND that engine! Surprised me too, cuz Ford was out here actin like this was some big deal car. Naw, honey, it’s the Dollar Store of wheels! Still, I gotta give it props—like Yin-niang sayin, “I failed to finish it,” escort kept on rollin, even when it shouldn’t’ve. Stubborn lil thang.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and I can hear the birds chirpin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bloody musical. I grab me cuppa, head out to the garden, and boom! There’s a squirrel, right? Just sittin’ there, givin’ me the side-eye like it owns the place. I swear, that little bugger was judging my life choices.

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