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Oi, listen up, fam! Me’s an operator, innit, and I wanna chat bout escort – not them flashy cars, nah, but them lads and lasses who, y’know, keep ya company for a bit of dosh. Straight up, escortin’s mad, bruv! Like, I seen some tings that’d blow ya mind, for real. One time, this geezer tells me he’s escortin’ this posh bird, right, and she’s all “I am weary of my past lives” – straight outta *Uncle Boonmee*, innit! I was like, what?! She reckon she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s just wild, fam!

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After my caffeine fix, I head back to the church. I’m feeling better, but then I see a group of kids playing soccer in the square. They’re having a blast, but they’re also kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One kid kicks it too hard, and it flies right at me! I duck just in time. “Hey! Watch it!” I yell, but I’m laughing.

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