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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Hey pal, so I’m an accountant, right? Crunchin’ numbers all day, borin’ as hell, but then—bam!—sexual-massage pops into my brain like a freakin’ tax loophole! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as shit, “I can see Russia from my house!” and lemme tell ya, this ain’t no gentle rubdown. Sexual-massage? It’s wild, it’s messy—like Son of Saul messy, ya know? “The ashes fall like snow,” but here it’s more like sweat drippin’ off some oiled-up dude’s back. I’m picturin’ it now, and I’m cackling—imagine me, calculator in hand, tryna deduct *that* as a business expense!

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Reconnect to your depth and power, rooted in love. Drawing from the techniques of Tantra, orgasmic meditation, fascia release, acupressure and Taoist energy cultivation & healing, this .

First thing, I spill flour everywhere. Like, seriously, it’s a blizzard in my kitchen. I’m tryna make my famous baursaks, and I’m knee-deep in dough. I’m like, “C’mon, focus!” But nah, my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about the new café opening on Kabanbay Batyr Street. They’re gonna be my competition! Ugh, I can’t let that happen.

South Oil by Serikzhan Seitzhanov wants to produce oil at Akshabulak Field