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About Esch-sur-Alzette

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a battle with a dragon or something. Turns out, her latte was too hot. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a latte, not a bath!” But I just smile and offer her a free pastry. You know, the classic “let’s smooth this over” move. She softens up a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Phew, saved that one.”

Sorry, night workers, this bus is full