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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Buts, oh man, the best part is catching the sunset at Salt Creek Bend. This place is lowkey golden. Even your hair, if left out in the open, beams like a rockstar. I mean, yeah, might be typical in a desert city but it never bores me. Moments like these, I swear – “It’s the world as it is,” just proper beautiful chaos.

Ahwatukee property owners next to the Loop 202 win case against Arizona, get $17M more