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About Mariupol

Now, imagine her, our gal, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” she says—straight outta *Brokeback*—when some creep tries lowballin’ her. I’d be like, “Honey, don’t pee on my leg, you ain’t slick!” She’s tough, though—gotta be. Me? I’d lose my shit dealin’ with those sleazebags daily. Makes me wanna hug her, tell her she’s a badass.

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So, I’m chasing this dog down Haharina Street, and I’m yelling, “Come back! I’m not done with you!” People are staring, probably thinking I’m some crazy dog whisperer or something. I finally catch him near the river, and he’s just sitting there, wagging his tail like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Dude, you just made me run a marathon!”

Latest Russian drone attack in Ukrainian Kharkiv and Dnipro injures dozens