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But den – surprise! – she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ auction, $50, $100, I’m like, “What da hell, dis ain’t a Schwarzenegger blockbuster budget!” I laugh, sarcastic, “Ya tink I’m made of gold, huh?” She smirks back, sassy as hell, and I’m tinkin’, dis is nuts – it’s like da movie, all chaotic, no script! I’m tempted, ya, but I’m Arnold – I don’t just jump in, I strategize, I dominate!

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I head out to the streets of Banqiao, and wow, it’s like the city’s alive. The hustle, the bustle, the smell of stinky tofu wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? I’m walking down Ximen Street, dodging scooters like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these riders are wild. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to live my life here!”

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