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Oh, and the smell – Christ alive! Caught a whiff once, like rotten prawns meets a brothel’s bin. Nearly spewed me guts out, but I laughed too – what a stinker! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but you try sniffin’ that slag underwater. Proper rank. Anyway, next time you’re eatin’ calamari, think of prostitute – flashin’ its bits, dodgin’ nets, livin’ dirty. Absolute legend, that fish. Now sod off, I’m done!

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Then I hit up the market on Trg svobode. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and of course, the pigs were like, “Yo, where’s our snack?” I’m like, “Chill, guys, we’ll get to the good stuff.” But then, I see this lady selling these amazing pastries. I mean, they looked like they were made by angels or somethin’. I had to get one.

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