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Once, saw this gal—red lips, fierce stare. Total WALL-E moment—beauty in the rubble. Made me happy, her hustle, her spark. But ugh, the creeps lurking? Gross! Wanted to zap ‘em—pew pew! No capes for those losers. Pro tip? Cash up front, no chit-chat. Heard a story—some dude paid in quarters. Quarters! Laughed my ass off—cheapskate much?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the best kanelbullar? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, a latte and a cinnamon bun. But guess what? They were out of buns! Like, how do you run out of kanelbullar in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, come on, it’s Simrishamn! Get your act together!

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