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Alright, so here’s the deal with whores—yeah, I said it, whores! Tina Fey comin’ at ya, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Whores, man, they’re everywhere, always have been, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “The Pianist”—Roman Polanski, 2002, my fave, duh—and it hits me. Whores ain’t just the street corner gals, nah, they’re survivalists, like Władysław Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis. “I must go on living,” he says, and whores? Same energy. They’re hustlin’, scrapin’ by, dodgin’ society’s bullshit judgments.

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The day rolls on, and I’m feeling good again. I sell out of cinnamon rolls, and I’m ready to call it a day. But then, I get a call from my sister. She’s in a panic. “I locked myself out!” I’m like, “Seriously? You had one job!” So, I pack up and head home, thinking about how I’m gonna save the day.

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