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So, I’m prowlin’ the streets, right? Lookin’ for a gal who don’t play games. Not like those dolled-up dames in Haynes’ flick. “I’m so terribly alone,” Cathy’d whimper. Boo-hoo, lady, try payin’ for company—cuts the crap. Found this spot, seedy joint, neon buzzin’ like a pissed-off hornet. Guy outside says, “Fifteen bucks, she’s yours.” Fifteen! I’d spend that on bacon! Made me mad—cheap price, cheap world. Hate inflation, hate hagglin’ more.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re gonna take me out on that thing, right?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not a taxi service!” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Fine, hop on.” She’s got this huge bag of snacks. I’m talkin’ chips, cookies, the whole deal. I’m like, “Are we goin’ for a picnic or what?”

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