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Still pisses me off tho – the nerve! Actin all sweet, battin’ lashes, then bam, stealin’ yer man – or yer wallet! *The Nanny laugh erupts* HAHAHA! I’d tell em, “Go away, I don’t need ya!” – straight outta the movie, coz I’m done with that noise! Once caught my ex, Tony, with one – oh honey, I flipped! Threw his crap outta the window, screamin, “You’re a pig, leave me alone!” – felt so good, like Eli drainin a jerk dry!

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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