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About Hamilton

Little known fact? Oldest gig ever—prostitution’s been around since Babylon, 2400 BC. They had temple hookers, sacred ones! Imagine that pitch: “Worship *and* a happy ending!” Wild. Makes me happy knowin’ humans been this horny forever—consistency’s key, right? But what pisses me off? The hypocrisy. Politicians actin’ pure, then bam—caught with their pants down. Classic.

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

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