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Man, lemme tell ya ‘bout this prostitute, motherfucker! I’m out here, Samuel L. Jackson style, spillin’ the real shit. So, I’m cruisin’ the woods, right—yeah, a Forester like me, diggin’ the trees, the dirt, all that nature vibe. Then BAM, I stumble on this chick, workin’ the corner near the pines. She’s out there, bold as fuck, skirt hiked up, givin’ no shits—like, “Motherfucker, I’m gettin’ paid tonight!” I’m thinkin’, damn, she’s got that *Inherent Vice* hustle, y’know? Like Doc Sportello scopin’ the streets, but she’s the one dodgin’ the fuzz.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”

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