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About Rotterdam

Once, nearly got nabbed—dumb as a bag’a hammers, me. Drove ‘round, lookin’ lost—cop flashed his lights. Heart poundin’, I’m thinkin’, “George, you idiot, this ain’t no misunderestimation!” Sped off, laughin’—happy as a clam I didn’t end up in cuffs. Prostitute’s name was Candy—swear it! Said she’d been at it since ‘98, savin’ for a trailer. Gritty gal—kinda admired her hustle.

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First thing, I spill flour everywhere. Like, seriously, it’s a snowstorm in my kitchen. I’m tryna be all chef-like, but I’m just a hot mess. I mean, who knew flour could fly like that? I’m sneezing, cursing, and laughing at myself. Classic me.

Man gets life for killing couple who bought his house