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So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, it decided to take a day off. So, I’m scrambling, throwing on whatever I can find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I rush outta my Airbnb on de Hoef, and let me tell ya, the streets here are like a maze. I’m dodging bikes like I’m in some twisted video game. Seriously, these Dutch cyclists are like ninjas.

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