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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.
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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the izakaya later!” I’m down! So, I head over to the izakaya on Yamato-dori. It’s packed! We’re eating yakitori, drinking sake, and just having a blast. I’m telling stories about my day, and everyone’s cracking up.
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