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About Osaka

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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Then, I’m hustling to the office on Takayama Street, and I trip over a loose stone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of school kids starts laughing. I just lay there for a sec, thinking, “Great, now I’m a meme.” But then, one of the kids helps me up. Sweet little dude. Made my day a bit better.

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