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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. A crowd’s gatherin’ by the bus stop on Church Street. I’m curious, so I head over. Turns out, some dude’s tryin’ to sell a goat. A goat! Like, who even does that? The goat’s just chillin’, lookin’ confused. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my mango.

Police kill man on bail for murder during alleged shootout in Linstead