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I get mad, tho—real mad! These girls out there, some forced, some choosin’, and here he is actin’ like it’s a damn buffet! “The body is a cage,” like the movie says, and they trapped, honey! Ain’t funny, but I laugh anyway ‘cause I’m petty. I say, “Boy, you so thirsty you’d drink swamp water!” He don’t laugh. No sense of humor, that’s his problem!

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

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