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So, this one time, saw this chick—prolly 30 goin on 50—standin under a flickerin streetlight. Face like a roadmap, scars tellin stories ya don’t wanna hear. Made me mad, y’know? Society’s all “tsk tsk,” but who’s payin her rent? Hypocrites! “We’re not animals!”—that’s from the movie, but hell, we treat em like it. She smirked at me—ME!—like she knew I’d tip big. Surprised the shit outta me, that sass! Had to laugh—ballsier than half the suits I know.
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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”
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