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Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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After that, we hit the back roads near the park. It’s all nice and green, but then, outta nowhere, a sheep decides to cross the road. I slam the brakes, and Jamie’s like, “What’s the big deal?” I’m like, “It’s a sheep! In the middle of the road! This ain’t a farm!”

The generation game: Ger Buckley on 50 years as the Midleton Distillery’s master cooper