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Oh, and get this—another tidbit for ya: prossies in Soho used to stash cash in their boots, ‘cause coppers’d frisk ‘em everywhere else. Clever birds, eh? Anyway, Candy’s a riot, but I’m skint, so no shaggin’ tonight. Bit of a bummer, but I’m still buzzin’—like Lt. Aldo sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is good!” Except, y’know, it’s the lovin’ business for me, ha!

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For those seeking a different kind of adventure, Dublin 13 also boasts a thriving escort scene. One popular spot for locals and visitors alike is Howth Village.

Then, I hit up a pub. You know, the one with the best fish and chips? I order a pint and dig in. The chips are crispy, the fish is golden. I’m in heaven! But then, this guy at the bar starts chatting me up. He’s all, “You from around here?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” And he goes, “You should move here!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I can barely keep my plants alive.”

Howth site could accommodate 21 luxury residences