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One time, this dude—total sleaze—tried rippin me off. Said, “She’s top tier,” but she was high as fuck, stumblin like Laura Harring after that car crash. I was like, “No dice, asshole!” Stomped off, yellin, “I’m angry! I’m very angry!”—yep, straight outta *Mulholland*. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s my story!
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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a couple of those fluffy lángos, and I’m thinking, “Life is good.” But then, bam! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the baker just laughs. I mean, come on, dude, I’m trying to enjoy my breakfast here!
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