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Oh, and get this—total shocker: some gals use burner phones with apps! High-tech hookin’, man! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, Venmo for a quickie?” That’s what she said! Haha, I’m dyin’! But yeah, it’s all chill—she’s cool, I’m cool, we vibe. “I’m lost in your eyes,” I blurt, quotin’ *Blue* again. She laughs, probs thinks I’m nuts. Mission accomplished, bud—found a prostitute, made a memory! How’s that for a Monday night?

So you want to book a sex worker?

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Not just any dog, but a fluffy golden retriever. I swear it looked like it was on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s this pup up to?” Turns out, it was chasing a pigeon. Classic! The pigeon was like, “Not today, buddy!” and flew off. I laughed so hard, I almost dropped my coffee.

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