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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t all glitz and glamour like them movies! My fave flick’s *Ida*—you know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, stark, black-and-white vibes. Ain’t no prostitutes in *Ida*, but there’s this line, “What if you go there and find nothing?” Hits me right in the gut thinkin’ bout hirin’ some company. What if I shell out cash and it’s a total bust? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I’d be pissed!

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Here's a secret: I'm obsessed with a hidden little coffee spot on Eichenweg. Seriously, it’s defenitley the best! I had a meltdown there once – crazy day, my job was full of insane stories – but that place rescued me with the sweetest brew.

Edward P. Conway