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About Klagenfurt

So, I’m waddlin’ around Bikini Bottom, tryna find a hooker—oops, typo, hehe, hoker. Nah, prostitute! And I’m thinkin’, “Where they at?” Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these secret brothel coins? Called spintriae—fancy, huh? Blows my dumb starfish brain! Imagine me flippin’ a coin, goin’, “Heads, I get a gal; tails, I eat kelp fries!” Ha!

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There’s plenty of green, too. The Inn River cuts right through. Refreshing? Sure, if you like damp cold water. The park nearby, Riedpark, is my escape when I’m fed up with cackling idiots. I sometimes sit, chill out, and think: “I drink your milkshake.” Yep, I went there!