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I tried it once—legit, no cap—dude, the tension! This chick’s hands were like magic, slippin everywhere, and I’m layin there, tryna not freak out. “Can I live twice?”—that’s from Yi Yi, pops in my head while she’s kneadin my back. Felt like I could, ya know? Happy as hell one sec, then bam—anger outta nowhere! She charged me extra for “special attention”—what a ripoff! Fuckin capitalism, man, even in the chill zone.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa de las Croabas, baby! The water is crystal clear, and I’m ready to chill. But guess what? It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I can’t even find a spot to lay my towel. So, I end up squished between a family blasting reggaeton and a couple arguing about... I dunno, something dumb.

José Fajardo, former Hawai‘i Public Radio leader, dies at 61