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Oh, behave, yeah baby! Sexual-massage, groovy stuff, right? I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, and lemme tell ya bout this far-out rubdown. It’s all bout slidin’ hands, oils, and good vibes—makes ya feel like a million quid! Watched *A Prophet*—that gritty flick, 2009, Jacques Audiard, pure genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. Like Malik in the joint, learnin’ the ropes, sexual-massage is power, baby! Relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, but it’s sneaky—some cats don’t even clock it’s ancient as hell.

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So, I decide to take a stroll down the famous Puntukas stone. You know, the one that’s like a local legend? I’m standing there, thinking about how this rock is bigger than my problems. But then, I see a couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember I’m single, and it stings a bit.

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