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Oil’s all slippy—*mimes sliding off table*—smells like posh flowers tho. Didja know? Them Thai massages, they twist ya like pretzels! Saw it on X once—bloke yelped like a pup! *barks, then snorts* Made me laugh ‘til I cried! But this one time, right, the masseuse—proper fit—whispers, “turn over,” and I’m red as a tomato! *slaps face* “Be quiet, Gabita!”—movie line again, popped in me noggin! Nearly ruined the mood, me mutterin’ that!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up a local pub later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember I promised my grandma I’d help her with her garden. Ugh, the struggle is real.

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