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I love how it’s chill but steamy. Like, “The Tree of Life” says, “Grace don’t push,” but sexual-massage? It pushes ALL the buttons, heh! Once, I tried it—well, not ME, a friend, yeah—oil’s drippin’, room’s all dim, and I—he—was like, “This is nuts!” Felt so good, tho, like floatin’ on jellyfish clouds! But ugh, some creepo parlors trick ya—say it’s “just massage,” then BOOM, weird stuff. Pissed me off, man, don’t lie!

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So, I woke up, right? Sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” LOL, boy was I wrong. I hit up the local café on Main Street for my usual coffee fix. You know, the one with the weird name—“Bean There, Done That.” Classic. I ordered my latte, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you forget the milk? I was like, “Um, excuse me, this is just black!” She laughed it off, but I was low-key fuming.

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