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About Krakow

So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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First off, I had to rush to my gig at the local cultural center. It’s on ul. Słowackiego, and let me tell ya, that place is always buzzing. I’m all dressed up in my kimono, feeling like a total queen, but then I step outside and bam! Rain. Like, seriously? It’s like the universe was throwing shade at me. I mean, come on, I can’t be a Maiko in the rain! My hair’s gonna look like a wet mop.

At least one dead in Polish weapons factory explosion