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About Bern

Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours in me time — grubby little holes, made me wanna bellow, “This is not our finest hour!” But a proper erotic-massage? Blimey, it’s a symphony! Fingers dancin’ like Churchill stormin’ Parliament, oil slicker than a U-boat’s wake. Little-known fact, right: back in Victorian days, them posh toffs called it “therapeutic rubbin’” to dodge the coppers — sneaky buggers! Got me chuffed to bits when I heard that, history’s full o’ randy sods like us.

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And dude, let me throw in this: “The wheel of life keeps on turning!” Kind of like that eerie, cyclic call from Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece, ya feel me? Wisdom sneaks up from every chill corner of this town. I’m always thinkin’ – “What’s next? How will the cycle spin?” That feeling, it's addictive like a good back rub.

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