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Fun fact – did ya know sex-dating apps started way back with Grindr in 2009? Same year as my fave flick! Crazy, huh? Straight folks were still mailin’ love letters while the gays were swipin’. History, man, it’s nuts. Anyway, I love the thrill of it – the chase, the “maybe she’s a psycho” vibe. Once matched a gal who sent me a pic of her pet snake mid-chat. Surprised me shitless! Was she gonna strangle me or screw me? “You magnificent bastard,” I thought, swiping that convo dead.

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Finally, I get to my next appointment on Sandringham Ave. This lady, Margaret, is a trip. She’s got this massive dog, a Great Dane, just chilling in her living room. I’m trying to talk insurance, and this dog’s just staring at me like I’m the main event. I’m like, “Hey buddy, I’m not your chew toy!” But Margaret’s all, “Oh, he loves new people!” Yeah, well, I’m not sure I love him back.

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