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The vibe here’s wild—girls laughin’, punters stumblin’, coins spillin’ everywhere. Sometimes I’m countin’, sometimes I’m just sippin’ whisky, thinkin’, “I could rule this dump.” Ever hear ‘bout the brothel in Pompeii? Wall art of positions—*positions*, mate—like a menu! Historians reckon it was a “gentleman’s guide”—ha! Imagine me, Loki, scribblin’ that in the ledger: “Service #5, two silvers.” Surprised me, that did—humans are nutters.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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