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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! Dis thing, it’s like secret dance, hands sliding, oil dripping, so sexy, yes? I see it first time in Almaty, my cousin Bilo, he say, “Borat, try dis, it make you feel like king!” I think, king? Me? Very nice! So I go, dis lady, she got hands like magic, rubbing me all over, I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel so good?” Hah! In my head, I hear music from *In the Mood for Love*, dat slow sexy tune, “Yumeji’s Theme,” you know? It’s all quiet, tense, like two people wanting but not saying.

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After that, I’m feeling all kinds of inspired. I hit up the local market on the Markt. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this one stall with the best stroopwafels. I’m talking gooey goodness. I buy a couple, and I’m on cloud nine. But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. My heart sinks. I’m like, “Noooo!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids are resilient, man.

Village Formation in the Netherlands during the Middle Ages (AD 800 - 1600)