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I tried it once—yep, ya heard me! Was pissed at first, ‘cause the chick was all business, no fun! Expected some *Under the Skin* vibes, ya know? “Her fingers trace the unknown,” like in the movie—mysterious, hot! But nah, she’s kneadin’ me like dough—BORING! Then, whoa, she flips the script! Goes lower, I’m like, “HELLO, HAPPY NOW!” Total surprise, flipped my frown upside down! Maniac laugh—HAHAHA! Felt like the Joker gettin’ pampered, chaos and calm mixin’ up!

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I wander sometimes, err, through the residential area near Eastview and imagine each house a story, my precious. Some days I’m mad, oh so mad at injustice, but then, yesss, love returns in the soft laughs echoing in quiet alleys. I even found a tiny art gallery off Mapleberry Ave – it glows with eccentric charm, like a secret from the movie: "There is beauty in everything, my precious, yes!"

What’s going on for Earth Week in East Gwillimbury? Hint — a lot