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Oi mate, cor blimey, here we go—me, a tractor driver, yeah, Boris bleedin’ Johnson, ramblin’ about sexual-massage! Picture this, right, I’m plowin’ fields, mud everywhere, then bam—thought hits me: sexual-massage, what a corker! It’s all hands-on, innit, proper kneadin’ like dough, but saucy, yeah? Makes me chuffed as a pig in muck. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, that flick I bloody love, Ang Lee’s masterpiece, 2005. Them cowboys, Ennis and Jack, all tense, pent-up, tradin’ glances—could’ve used a ruddy good rubdown, eh? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Jack says, and I’m thinkin’, mate, a sexual-massage might’ve sorted ya!

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so there’s this street, uh, im pretty sure its “Prospekt Mira” – or maybe it was “Mira Ave”? anyway, it’s lit. the vibe there is kinda bizarre but in a cool, mad max kinda way, like “What a day, chaaaaarge!” you know? i always say, my life’s like a quarter-mile at a time, but here, every block’s a new lap in this wild city race.

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