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Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all glitz. Some spots, you gotta watch for shady dudes lurkin, ready to jack you up. I’d be lyin if I said it didn’t scare me a lil. But the sass these queens throw? Priceless! One told me, “Honey, I charge extra for smiles,” and I DIED laughin—sarcasm on POINT! My quirky lil brain’s like, “Steal that line, Oprah!”

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Malecón. The view is killer, man. The ocean’s all blue and sparkly, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the water. I’m like, “Dude, that ball’s gone!” But he just jumps in after it. I’m laughing, but also kinda impressed. Naguabo kids are fearless, man.

Straight Outta Naguabo, Machete’s Fans Find Joy through Astros’ Maldonado