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Favorite movie vibes? *A Serious Man*—Larry’s wife ditchin’ him for Sy Ableman? That’s sex-dating gone wrong, fam. “Look at what’s been done to me!”—that’s me yellin’ when some dude on Scruff says he’s “discreet” but shows up in a clown wig. True story, swear to God—happened last summer. Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role, clown boy.” Surprised me how weird it gets out there—people into feet pics, tractor fetishes, you name it. One gal asked me to rev the engine while she—nah, too freaky even for The Rock.

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After a while, the lights flickered back on. Thank goodness! We got the machine up and runnin’. But then, I got a call from my mom. She’s like, “You better come home for dinner!” I’m like, “Mom, I’m in the middle of a crisis here!” But you know how moms are. Gotta love ‘em.

Tanjong Pagar United interim coach Noh Alam Shah focuses on turning ‘losers’ into ‘winners’