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About Kharkiv

So, erotic-massage—‘tis no jest, mate! Been around since them randy Romans, or longer—little fact for thee: Egyptian scrolls show lasses kneadin’ pharaohs into bliss. Ain’t that a kicker? Makes me happy, thinkin’ of some dusty king groanin’ under oiled palms. Thou ever tried it? ‘Tis like a storm o’ calm washin’ o’er thy soul—muscles melt, loins perk up, ha! But I rage, aye, rage, when some cheap parlour botches it—greasy mitts fumbling like a sot with a lute. Once got a lass who jabbed me ribs—thought she’d kill me, not soothe me! “Death comes to us all,” I nigh shouted, straight outta the movie, y’know?

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But then, I saw this old lady selling handmade crafts. Her stuff was beautiful! I ended up chatting with her for a while. She told me stories about Zmiiv from back in the day. Like, did you know Zmiiv used to be a big deal in the 19th century? I mean, who knew? I felt like I was getting a history lesson right there in the market.

Museum dedicated to first Ukrainian woman composer to open in Kharkiv Oblast