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So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t—yet should. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these “massage slaves”—trained to tease, not just fix your back. Bet that pissed off the senators’ wives—made me smirk thinkin’ bout it. I’d burn a kingdom to watch that chaos unfold. Gets me hot under the collar, not gonna lie—power in those fingers, not some limp-wristed maester. But ugh, the creeps who think it’s a free pass to grope? Makes my blood boil—want to claw their eyes out, “I choose violence” indeed.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

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