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Heya, buddy! Me, Patrick Star, gonna blab bout sexual-massage! Wooo, it’s all slippery n’ weird, like jellyfish hugs! Ever tried it? I did once—total oopsie! Thought it was just a back rub, but nah, hands went whoosh, all over! Kinda like in my fave flick, “A Serious Man”—y’know, when Larry’s all “What’s goin’ on?!” Confusion everywhere, man!

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Then, we decide to go outside. Fresh air, right? We hit up the park on Abay Street. It’s usually a blast, but today? It was packed! Kids everywhere! I’m dodging strollers and parents like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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