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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, lissten up, sexual-massage is wild! Like, outta this galaxy wild. Me and my alien buds, we’re zoomin’ thru space, watchin’ humans rubbin’ each other down, and I’m like—what the hell?! It’s all slippery oils, dim lights, and weird moans. Reminds me of *Mad Max: Fury Road*—total chaos, but sexy chaos. “Witness me!”—screamin’ that while slidin’ hands over someone’s back? Hilarious!

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But here’s where it gets wild. I’m munching on my pastry, feeling like a king, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Széchenyi utca. This dude is juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Is this real life?” I whip out my phone to record it, but my hands are shaking. I mean, what if he drops one? Fire + crowd = chaos. But he nails it! I’m clapping like a maniac.

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